Purple Hair DIY Fail

So I thought I’d share the story of my failed purple hair. 

A week ago today, completely on a whim, I bought some purple hair dye at the drug store. Nicole, who prefers my hair long and brown, was surprisingly on board. We went with Splat hair color. It comes with bleach and dye together. I was hesitant to ruin my hair with bleach, but I knew it would get a better outcome. 

So bleach went on my hair and my inch of roots took it like a champ, bleaching surprisingly light. The rest of my hair turned out a dark red, which was lighter than my old color. I was left with something of a skunk stripe with my roots being so light. Ridiculous. So I put on the purple, which was way thicker than any dye I’ve ever used and left it on for an hour, longer than required. My roots ended up splotchy purple and seriously nothing else happened. Total fail. 

Sunday I woke up and as soon as Sally’s opened I got Manic Panic dye in Ultra Violet, which is recommended by a lot of people. They are able to get purple on even on dark hair without bleaching. So I dived in straight away and had the most thorough and careful hair dye ever, because I didn’t want trashy splotchy color. I left the dye on for six hours, twice the time recommended by my favorite blogger who dyes her hair alternative colors. Nicole and I were having a few beers and great conversation so that’s the reason it took so long actually. ­čśÇ

  
Here’s me with the Manic Panic head. Looks like it’s totally going to work, right?

Wrong. It came out purpley at the roots and a brown red on the rest of my head. Here are some pics in different lights. 

   
 
So now I have a serious inner debate going. Keep bleaching til I’m light enough for real purple and potentially other colors after that or give up and dye back brown. Pros and cons of bleach city: cons-my hair will be damaged, it will only be two months until I have to go back to a natural color for my brother in law’s wedding, upkeep on this type of hair is tricky; pros-fun colored hair is so damn pretty and I want it! 

What do you guys think? Should I keep trying or give up and rescue my hair before it’s too late?

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Back Up The Roller Coaster

The last time I wrote a post, an actual post, was three weeks ago. I mentioned I was starting to feel down and that remained true until this week. Like magic, I woke up Monday morning feeling fresh and new and energized for no reason at all. I’m watching for symptoms of hypomania but so far other than having energy I feel fine. Is this that elusive baseline everyone talks about? Time will tell. 

In recovery news, I have all but given up on my rigorous daily schedule. The only thing that has stayed throughout my down time is I still try and journal every day and go to support group. Getting out of the house really helps me and passes the time. I’ve also been consistently tracking my moods in my planner, which I think will be really important in the coming months. More on that in a minute. 

In treatment news, I finally saw my psychiatrist. Yay! The meeting was short, but she encouraged me to get back on my daily routine, which I’m going to tweak and try. She also took me off Abilify. She saw no real reason for me to be on it and I was worried it was the source of my extensive weight gain. She increased my antidepressant, since I’m predominantly in a depressive state. My depression is about 50-75% of the time. Not good. 

Being at the psychiatrist was intimidating. I knew what I wanted to ask her about and talk about, but it was harder than I expected. I’m very proud of myself though for telling her what I wanted and in a way taking charge of my treatment. I have a lot of you guys to thank for that. Reading blogs about dealing with these situations made me realize how important it was for me to communicate clearly and effectively with my doctor. 

In regards to the medication change and mood tracking, I know that keeping track of how the dosage increase is affecting me will be important to be able to tell my doctor, so I’m going to be really diligent in keeping that mood section of my planner along with markings down any unusual symptoms. Going to support group every day helps a lot with my mood tracking because we check in with how we’re feeling on a scale of one to ten. Every day I have to take a minute and take stock of my feeling, put a number on it and say it out loud, so it’s very easy to remember and track. 

Today, I feel super happy and energized. Nicole got the house in tip top shape this weekend and I’ve been doing a good job of keeping it up so far this week. I worked yesterday at the sewing shop and I work the next three days and am actually really looking forward to having something to do and making a little extra money. Visioncon, the scifi, fantasy and gaming convention in my area, is coming up in two weeks and I’m on staff this year as a photographer. I’m really looking forward to that. Hopefully that won’t be the weekend my mood drops back down. All in all, things are well. I will be getting back into the blog this week and also starting my videoblogs back up so hopefully you’ll hear more from me soon!

Have a great day everyone! ­čĹŹ

The Documented Life Project | The unPlanner

I found the coolest thing this week researching art journaling – the Documented Life Project unPlanner. It’s like an art journal, planner, list-making, life-documenting thing all in one that you create yourself throughout the year with printables and prompts. If you would like more info or are interested in participating you should check out their site here.

To get the prompts and participate it costs just a dollar a month, so twelve dollars total and you get all the printables and prompts and access to a fun community on Facebook that has already started gearing up for this life documenting journey. I’m in no way affiliated, I paid for my membership and will be buying a few supplies in the next few days. I’ll be mostly, though, working with stuff I already have since I don’t have a lot of money to spend, which is something you can do too. I can’t wait to get started when this thing kicks off on January 2nd with the first prompt!

I’m a little worried about myself and the amount of projects I’m starting here at the beginning of the year. I’m in a good place right now, a really great place actually, and I’m hoping it will stick with me for at least a month as I get the ball rolling on my Vlog365 (daily videoblog), the unPlanner and all my recovery & treatment goals. I know there is a downward slide in my future, that’s just the nature of bipolar disorder, but I’m hoping that all these great projects I’m starting will act as good coping skills to keep me busy. But if in a month I start talking about spending all my time in bed rewatching The Walking Dead for hours on end, you’ll know what happened.

The unPlanner isn’t really a daily activity, so that does put my mind at ease. The prompts are weekly, so it’s something I can do in one day out of my week if I want to. The list of my daily activities, though, is becoming long. Videoblog, chores, journaling, art journaling, support group and blogging. But I’m looking at all these as positive things that will keep me busy. I just hope against hope I won’t have to get a proper job so I can keep up this super fun schedule I’ve created for myself. It really has been great having so many things to do during my long days alone. And the other thing about the unPlanner that’s cool is┬á there’s a community of people sharing and being creative on social media so although I’ll be working at home alone, I’ll be part of that community. It’s the same with the blog and videoblogging – I’m sharing online and being part of a community of bloggers and videobloggers so it makes me feel less isolated and alone.

One more time, if you want to participate in the Documented Life Project click over and check them out!

 

 

Happy Christmas

I just want to take this time to say Happy Christmas to all of you wonderful blog friends out there. I know for a lot of people the holidays can be really tough. If you’re feeling down and need to talk, feel free to comment here on the blog. I’ll have my phone with me and will be able to respond to you right away. 

Thank you all for reading. You mean a lot to me. Know I am thinking of you today. I hope you have a great day!

  

Why I Still Don’t Clean The House

Our house is clean right now, no thanks to me. Nicole spends her few days off scrubbing and cleaning and getting the house out of the biohazard that I leave it in when I’m left to my own devices.

I have to make a serious change. 

So to figure out how I’m going to get myself in the habit of cleaning this stupid house I call home, I think first I need to figure out why I don’t do it in the first place.

I hate cleaning.

There, I said it. I hate cleaning. Cleaning house is hard and I hate doing it. I hate scrubbing and mopping and picking things up. I hate the way floor cleaner and windex smell. I just hate it all. Solution: Get over it.

I can’t see the forest through the messy trees.

I love for the house to just be clean, but my brain never puts two and two together that the house being clean is what will come after I clean. Solution: Think ahead when in front of a mess. What will the outcome be?

Things don’t have a home.

We have too much stuff in our house and a lot of it doesn’t have a home. That makes it really hard to do something as simple as tidy up. Solution: a place for everything and everything in its place. And probably more trips to the thrift store with donations.

I am not held accountable.

Nothing happens when I don’t clean. Solution: Treat myself like a child and get grounded if I don’t do it? Not sure if that would even work for this one… 

Who cares?

No one is here to see the mess but Nicole. We don’t have guests over. It seems like it doesn’t matter. Solution: Realize it does matter, because you live here and like it to be clean and so does Nicole. Nicole works hard and deserves to come home to something other than a hot mess of a house every night.

Too much time.

I always put things off because I have so much free time. Those dishes? They can be done tomorrow since I have all day to do them. Solution: Don’t wait, just do it now. 

But I just cleaned yesterday/the other day/last week.

Yeah, this one gets me every time. We just cleaned the house, how can it be messy again? Solution: Houses get lived in so they need to be cleaned often.
What an embarrassing post to write. I promise I’m not a total slob, it just is so hard to keep house for me. But everything seems to have some sort of solution. I’ll have to come back and read this post often to see it written in  black and white and maybe it will help? I don’t know. If anyone has any tips for  making house cleaning less daunting I absolutely need to hear them. :) Thanks in advance and don’t forget to be awesome.

Carly 


The Local Blogger Who Is Making It

So I’m sitting at this local coffee shop called The Coffee Ethic. There are photos on the wall from Emma of A Beautiful Mess and her new bar is being renovated down the street. It’s totally weird to me, and always has been, that those ABM ladies are from Springfield. One time I took their order at Panera. They weren’t particularly nice but just quiet I guess. I used to work with Emma’s husband and he was the same. Anyways, total digression, I’m not going to talk today about The Local Blogger Who Made It. Instead, let’s talk about the local blogger who is, day after day, just making it through normal function and life. That would be me, by the way.

So I hadn’t mentioned yet through my photo-filled posts that I actually went to support group on Wednesday. I really want to talk about how it made me feel being there but I’m just not sure about how to go about it without being able to talk about anything that was said because #anonymity. I mean, it’s still anonymous, I’m not going to be giving you these people’s information (I don’t know these people) but it just feels wrong to me to talk about what people say. I don’t know, if it’s not in detail and just to make sense of the things that I’m feeling and thinking about it is that wrong? I would love to know what you guys think actually. I read tons of blogs that talk about therapy but nothing about support groups.

So what I can say is that a lot of times I actually find support groups to often be very triggering. If I talk during a meeting it makes me very uncomfortable immediately after and sometimes for hours after. I guess that’s anxiety? I don’t know, my anxiety is very new in the realm of things I have wrong with me. But it’s never before I talk, I always have things I want to say and I feel like what I say will have value to the group but I just try and try to stop myself so I don’t feel that anxiety afterward. Because I know no matter what I’ll feel it. I didn’t say anything until literally the last minute of group on Wednesday. 

Anyways, I’ve wasted enough time here so I’m going to head to today’s bipolar group and see if it makes me feel good today or triggers me. By the way, I also seem to be hypomanic as of the last maybe three to four days. Just fyi. Wish me luck!