Back Up The Roller Coaster

The last time I wrote a post, an actual post, was three weeks ago. I mentioned I was starting to feel down and that remained true until this week. Like magic, I woke up Monday morning feeling fresh and new and energized for no reason at all. I’m watching for symptoms of hypomania but so far other than having energy I feel fine. Is this that elusive baseline everyone talks about? Time will tell. 

In recovery news, I have all but given up on my rigorous daily schedule. The only thing that has stayed throughout my down time is I still try and journal every day and go to support group. Getting out of the house really helps me and passes the time. I’ve also been consistently tracking my moods in my planner, which I think will be really important in the coming months. More on that in a minute. 

In treatment news, I finally saw my psychiatrist. Yay! The meeting was short, but she encouraged me to get back on my daily routine, which I’m going to tweak and try. She also took me off Abilify. She saw no real reason for me to be on it and I was worried it was the source of my extensive weight gain. She increased my antidepressant, since I’m predominantly in a depressive state. My depression is about 50-75% of the time. Not good. 

Being at the psychiatrist was intimidating. I knew what I wanted to ask her about and talk about, but it was harder than I expected. I’m very proud of myself though for telling her what I wanted and in a way taking charge of my treatment. I have a lot of you guys to thank for that. Reading blogs about dealing with these situations made me realize how important it was for me to communicate clearly and effectively with my doctor. 

In regards to the medication change and mood tracking, I know that keeping track of how the dosage increase is affecting me will be important to be able to tell my doctor, so I’m going to be really diligent in keeping that mood section of my planner along with markings down any unusual symptoms. Going to support group every day helps a lot with my mood tracking because we check in with how we’re feeling on a scale of one to ten. Every day I have to take a minute and take stock of my feeling, put a number on it and say it out loud, so it’s very easy to remember and track. 

Today, I feel super happy and energized. Nicole got the house in tip top shape this weekend and I’ve been doing a good job of keeping it up so far this week. I worked yesterday at the sewing shop and I work the next three days and am actually really looking forward to having something to do and making a little extra money. Visioncon, the scifi, fantasy and gaming convention in my area, is coming up in two weeks and I’m on staff this year as a photographer. I’m really looking forward to that. Hopefully that won’t be the weekend my mood drops back down. All in all, things are well. I will be getting back into the blog this week and also starting my videoblogs back up so hopefully you’ll hear more from me soon!

Have a great day everyone! 👍

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